We Vulgar Boys
by Druekee
Summary: A couple of drug addicts and that one kid who has all the connections. One night spent between two boys high on dope that turns out different than expected... but does anybody actually mind? Rated for drug references and sexual themes. Craig/Kenny.
1. Those Stoner Kids

_(I've been feeling disgusting since fall started. This story has a different feel then my first one since I wanted to write something serious and kind of trippy. This is rated M for unreasonable amounts of drug abuse and all around disgusting situations. Also:_

Ecstasy: Drug that produces a feeling of euphoria and well being and decreases anxiety and fear for the user.

Opana: Very well known prescription drug that some say rivals heroin in amount of euphoria produced for the user.

Marijuana: Also referred to as Grass, Hemp, Weed, Pot, Hash, or Dope.

Speed: Drug that can increase energy and awareness for the user; one type of speed is a pill known as Adderall XR.

_There's some info on the drugs mentioned in this fic.)_

**Chapter One: Those stoner kids**

I felt the snot dry up on my chin as I opened my mouth in a pleasing oval shape while breathing out the hot air from my lungs. Heated air's too pricey, my apartment's freezing and I don't give a shit. I cracked my neck and looked at the greasy ceiling. I grinned, my crooked teeth yellow and breath rancid as I near blinded myself by staring at the blue-white ceiling light. I looked at my open door that led to the staircase and gazed lovingly at my handwritten sign reading "SEX: 10$," either gender is good cause I don't want to be sexist. There's a birdfeeder on my patio filled with dope. There's 10 unused cigarettes covered in crap in my bathroom. I don't have any money, but I do have a nice job at Burger King that pays real well. My place smells like weed. I got a neighbor who has this dog that barks all fucking night long. I reached over to the other side of the ratty loveseat and grabbed a wrinkled cigarette before lighting it up messily and taking a long drag. I grinned again. I can't believe I'm fucking alive right now. I cannot believe that. Sometimes I'm glad I got kicked out of my house right when I turned 18; although I do still drop by to check on Karen. Life is good.

I heard loud, obnoxious boots stomp up the stairs and enter my room through the open door. A familiar pasty face greeted me with a tired expression as he walked to the loveseat and sat down on top of my cigarette box. I didn't mind. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and coughed.

"Let's go crash a movie theatre," he said, his voice nasally and thick with that same bored feel it always has. I grinned at him and stubbed out my cigarette on my sofa before standing up and stretching.

"Hell yes," I said, moving towards the door to put on my dog-shit covered off-brand Chucks before walking out of my open door. Craig followed behind, his tall back in an ever-present slouch that came with years of sleeping with his head on his desk during class. Even though we're currently still in school, he and I are barely there. He tends to stay up all night and then make up for it in the day. I should know, he tends to crash by my place more times than I can count, even though his house is nicer and stocked with food. We walked outside in an expected silence and got inside Craig's unlocked car. It was a simple car, black with more than a few dents on it and coffee-stained seats but it was still better than my non-existent one. He started his car up and some freaky shit started playing. I ignored it. Craig has this weird hobby of finding all the most obscure (not in a hipster way) music that's totally weird and not that good and making a shit load of mix-CDs.

He pulled up to the Tweek manor and I didn't even blink. Tweek came bustling out, his typical brown sweater drowning his body as he stumbled into the back seat. I didn't have to look at him to know that his eyes were bloodshot and his pockets were full of already rolled up joints. He got into the back seat and the smell of weed smoke was suddenly overpowering the car. I cracked open a window. I didn't bother mentioning to Tweek that it was a little early to be smoking weed. He wouldn't care and neither would Craig. I never understood why Tweek took drugs so often; when he's sober he's actually really intelligent. When he's high he's just mellow and doesn't talk much. I guess it's _because_ he's so mellow when high that he smokes dope, drinks alcohol, and snorts Opana and Ecstasy. He often rambles to me on and on about how Ecstasy is so perfect for him and how he's never paranoid or feels anxious while on it. Though when he's sober (which is a pretty rare occurrence) he's pretty worried about its side effects since it's supposedly a pretty bad drug. Opana is infamous in the drug-dealing world for it's effects and Tweek actually sells it to some of the kids at school. How I got myself mixed up with this kid eludes me.

We arrived at the theatre a few minutes later, the small ramshackle building coming closer and closer into view as Craig parked his car and we got out. I grinned and walked alongside Craig while Tweek was a few steps behind us probably taking the last few puffs and walking slow to finish it off. We walked around to the back entrance of the theatre and walked through the double doors. I looked around at the signs near the top of the entrances for the separate movies and tried to see which ones had just recently started. That new Paranormal Activity movie just started its previews; maybe we could go see that. I looked over at Craig as he bit down his thumbnail loudly. He looked up at me and removed his thumb.

"Hey let's go see Paranormal Activity 3," I suggested, looking over at Craig as he shrugged and then at Tweek who looked like he didn't really care. We walked in the theatre and started watching the horror.

An hour and a half later, the movie was over and we were walking out. Tweek said that he had plans to sell some Opana to some freshman kids in an hour at the pond so Craig and I dropped him off at his place. It's about 10 PM on a Saturday night, with just Craig and I. We drove back to my shitty little apartment and walked inside. We sat on my loveseat and I grabbed my pack of cigarettes before Craig could sit on them again. I lit one up and took a deep drag before looking over to Craig.

"What do you want to do?" I asked between puffs. Craig looked around thoughtfully and crossed his ankles.

"Run. I want to run around in the drainage ditches," he said, and I grinned. You're always the creative one, Tucker. I shoved my pack of cigarettes into my pocket and then stood up.

"Alright, let's drink some speed first and then go to my apartment's parking garage. There's a little concrete slope that leads into the drainage ditch right beside it. You want to bring some spray paint too and mark the territory?" I asked, getting hyped about this. I walked around to my kitchen and grabbed a bowl, a spoon and a little plastic bag full of Adderall XR. I walked back into the living room and watched as Craig stood up. We walked to the little dining room table that was on the other side of the couch, also known as the "Drug Station" since nobody ever actually ate here.

"Nah, I just want to run. Good idea for the speed though, I'm not feeling energetic enough to run for a while but this'll help," he said and I began the tedious task of opening the capsules and pouring out the Adderall beads. I got the pill to open and poured the beads into the bowl.

"That's what I was thinking. Dammit! Could you get me two cups of water?" I asked, looking down at the pills and trying to figure out how I forgot to get the water. I grabbed the spoon and started crushing the beads into a powder quickly. By the time Craig made it back into the room with the water, I had already crushed one person's worth of speed. I lifted the bowl and then tilted so that its contents could fall into one of the glasses of water. I grabbed the spoon and stirred the mixture before passing Craig the cup. I moved back to the bag of pills and pulled out another and repeating the process for myself. A few minutes later I had a disgusting taste in my mouth and a body that was still not reacting to the speed. I walked to the back of the couch and rested my head there, looking over at Craig who was messing with his phone.

"Let's hit McDonald's, this shit tastes disgusting," I stated and Craig looked over at me before standing up and moving to the front door. We ate inside the fast-food restaurant and after about 20 minutes I was starting to feel energized. The world was clearer, my hearing seemed heightened and I could focus on many things at one time without being overwhelmed. The speed is starting to kick in, awesome. Maybe we can hit the drainage ditches now.  
>"Alright let's go," Craig said and we stood up to go back to his car. We parked in front of my apartment building and then got out, walking towards the inconveniently placed parking garage. We walked slowly down the concrete slope that lead to the actual drainage ditches and then stood there silently in the middle of the concrete ditch with a long path ahead of us. I looked over at Craig and watched his alert eyes as they stared at the endless path of concrete. Luckily it was spring so the weather was somewhat chilly but there wasn't any snow in the path. Craig looked over at me and we met eyes. His pale grey eyes looked deep into my blue ones and a silent message passed through us. Time to run. Our feet started in a sprint, quickly rushing through the drainage ditch, around puddles and under bridges. We made it to an intersection and I looked over at Craig to see which way he wanted to go. He looked back at me and nodded his head to the right and we started running in that direction. He's a few steps ahead of me but I don't mind. It gave me a chance to look at the back and side of his face. In the moonlight, his hair blended into the sky and his face was as pale and creamy as the moon. His eyes were almost glowing and when he looked back at me, he smiled a radiant smile. I smiled back at him and rushed to catch up. He was almost ethereal; his contrasting skin and hair, and his large smile in the dark setting was truly beautiful. Honestly, I think it was the first time I'd ever seen true beauty in my entire life.<p> 


	2. The Laundromat Strip Club

**Chapter Two: The Laundromat Strip-Club**

I found myself laying face down on my bed. I guess somewhere between noticing this and rolling over so my breathing could become less hard that I woke up. I heard Craig snoring next to me and nudged his shoulder with my arm to shut him up. He rolled over and his snoring stopped. Waking up next to Craig was common in the winters. Since my house was so cold, and I don't have spare blankets, we shared a bed whenever he stayed over. I grabbed for the pack of cigarettes that I kept on my dresser and a lighter and lit one up. My cold fingers gripped onto the papery cigarette as I took a drag. My eyes were looking at Craig as he huddled into himself while sleeping. I smiled a bit to myself and stubbed out the cigarette prematurely. I sluggishly got out of bed and stretched, my muscles achy from the running we did yesterday. Suddenly a memory of how beautiful Craig looked yesterday crashed into my train of thought. I sighed at how utterly embarrassing it is to think about a close friend as 'beautiful.' He'd probably think I was a screaming fag for him if he ever figured out. But he won't because it was just a weird thought.

I shook off the images of his happy smile and glowing white face as I began walking towards the kitchen. I looked over at the empty pantry and sighed. I have to go to work today. I walked back into my bedroom and put on fresh clothes. Well, as fresh as the one work uniform I owned got. Tomorrow's laundry day anyway, so I'm good. I usually go with Craig at 7 PM on Monday to the 24/7 Laundromat. I looked over at the still sleeping form of Craig and picked up his phone from the ground and checked the time. 8:10 AM. Okay, I have 10 minutes to leave for Burger King. I shook Craig awake. He opened his eyes slowly and then glared at me.

"What?" he asked me sharply, one of his grubby hands moving to rub at his eyes. I gestured at my BK uniform and he sighed.

"How much time until you have to leave?" he asked me, his body moving to an upright position.

"10 minutes," I said and he stood up, his arm grappling the bed for his hat. It was funny how similar it was to the hat he wore when we were kids. He really only wore it now during the winters and on bad hair days so I guess today was one of those days for him. He walked into the living room and put on his jacket and boots. I put on my off-brand chucks and we left. We got in his car and he started driving us in the direction to Burger King. I started looking at myself in the mirror and straightened up my hair. We pulled into the parking lot and he dropped me off by the door. I waved goodbye at him and he drove towards the drive thru. I walked inside the back entrance and signed in. A few of my fellow employees said hello to me and I responded back cheerily as I started walking to the drive thru counter. I put on my headset and took the orders of the few customers that were here this early before it got to Craig.

"Hello, welcome to Burger King, how can I take your order?" I asked, and was met with a familiar voice.

"Thanks for making me drive you all the way out here this early, Ken. I'll have a fucking chicken biscuit combo with an orange juice and make it snappy," Craig said and I rolled my eyes.

"This isn't a phone, man. Is that all?" I asked and was practically waiting for the snarky comment back from him.

"Of course it's fucking all you retard I would've said more if I wanted more." There it is. I punched in the numbers and told him the total and to drive around. I yelled to the workers what the order was and they started preparing it and putting it into the bag. I opened the second window when I saw Craig pull up; he gave me the exact amount needed. I put the money in the register and started chatting to Craig about school until one of the other employees handed me his bag of food. I gave it to Craig and cheekily told him to have a good day. He looked over at me determinedly with a hash brown in his mouth.

"I will," he said and then he drove off. Strange kid. The rest of my workday went by pretty uneventfully and I gladly left the fast food joint at 4:30 PM right before the dinner crowd. On school days and Saturday I only worked from 4-8 PM, but on Sunday I worked a full 8 hour day and got paid 10$ an hour so I got around 300 bucks a week, which is pretty damn good. My payday is every other Sunday so today I got my check of 640 dollars. I went straight to the bank after work and put 440 of those dollars into my savings account for a car and the rest went into my pocket to use for the groceries. I went to a pay phone on the street corner and dialed Craig's number. He answered on the last ring.

"Hey," he said. I smiled even though he couldn't see it.

"I'm going grocery shopping. Wanna come with?" I asked and waited for the response. I heard shuffling on the other side of the line and muffled talking.

"I'm on my way to your place. There's no way you're going to carry all of those grocery bags on the bus," he said and then he hung up. I probably could carry my bags on the bus but it would be inconvenient. Sometimes I think he actually cares about me. I started walking in the direction of my apartment and whistled on the way, my feet doing a marvelous job of carrying me. I looked up at the sky and smiled. Life is good!

When I got to my apartment, Craig was already there on my loveseat, messing with his phone with his legs crossed. He looked at me as I walked in and put his phone away, standing up to join me by the entrance. We walked out in silence and got inside his car to leave for Wal-Mart. I made my purchases and after about 20 minutes of shopping, we left the low-price shopping center with a few bags. Craig made a few selections himself and after my questioning he answered with a slightly low voice and a shrug.

"You're place is like my second home, I guess." I just smiled at him and he looked away. We made it back to my apartment and started unloading the groceries before putting them away in their respected locations.

"Alright, well I guess I'll go to school tomorrow and I'll see you there," I said and he nodded. He tossed a backhanded wave at me as he left my apartment and shut the door behind him. I looked around my small little apartment and smiled to myself. I'm doing pretty well on my own; I have fresh groceries, a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head, and tomorrow's laundry day. I felt the fatigue of the few hours of sleep I got last night and the long work day today settle in and decided to go to bed early for once. Fleeting thoughts of the many things I could cook for breakfast tomorrow if I woke up early drifted me away into a land of dreamless sleep.

I woke up that morning an hour before I had to leave for school. I got up, stretched, took a piss, took a freezing cold shower, put on slightly grubby clothes, and then went to the kitchen to prepare a gourmet breakfast fit for kings. And by gourmet breakfast I mean scrambled eggs and a piece of toast. It was pretty damn tasty though, if I do say so myself. I usually don't even eat breakfast so this was like a rare delicacy for me. I put on my shoes and then left for school with my book-bag. I still took the bus to school and sat down next to Cartman. His tubby little face glanced in my direction and he almost-smiled.

"Hey Kenny, haven't talked to you in a few days," he said and I shrugged.

"Sorry. I might come to school more often, since I do need to at least graduate," I said and Cartman nodded. We began chatting about everything that had been going on and conversation then led to Craig.

"So you and Craig are getting pretty close now, huh?" he asked and if I wasn't mistaken, I'm pretty sure I just heard envy in his voice.

"Yeah, ever since summer started we've been hanging out more and more, you know this. Sometimes Tweek will hang out with us too," I said nonchalantly. Ever since high school started, the old groups of best friends began meshing into one big group of people that all interacted. This might have to do with the fact that there's only one high school around and every kid that lives within 30 minutes goes there. So, there were more kids and the original South Park gangs realized that safety is in numbers and meshed into one group. There are still people like Stan and Kyle who mainly just hang out with each other, and others who don't even communicate with people they once called their best friend. I guess it's all just a part of growing up. Cartman looked down.

"Yeah? Well, give me a ring sometime, we should hang out more often," he said and I smiled. Cartman, you aren't as big of a dick as everyone says you are sometimes.

"Sure, man," I said and I flashed him an ever bigger grin. He scoffed and looked away but I knew that he was happy about this. I miss the old times when we used to hang out, just him and me. Sometimes I wish that I could go back in time and never start doing drugs and just have a perfectly boring and innocent high school life. Sometimes I'm glad I did start drugs and begin interacting with Craig. Well, there's nothing I can do about it now so there's no point in worrying about it. I leaned against the leathery seat and smiled to myself as the bus continued to move forwards.

The teachers stopped yelling at me for missing school ages ago. They don't really care anymore and sometimes they'll even be nice enough to give me work to makeup. I'm a C average student, so it's not like I'm failing my classes or anything but I'm sure if I cared enough about attendance I would have mainly B's and maybe a few A's. It's just that I don't care about attendance. I decided to eat lunch with Cartman, Stan, and Kyle today since I really should hang out with them more; honestly sometimes it feels like we were never best friends at all. I caught up with them about a few things and we all just sort of chatted for a while until the bell rang. It was an average, mediocre lunch for a teenage boy. How refreshing, mediocrity. That hardly ever happens in my life. Actually, it's never really happened in my life ever.

When the last bell of the day rang I jumped out of my chair and dashed out the door to the school bus. I have all of 30 minutes to get to work and I have no time to spare. I sat in the empty bus and waited for a few minutes as the kids filed in and Cartman sat next to me. He began talking to me about some ridiculous thing that he saw on TV yesterday and I laughed at his typical behavior. The bus dropped me off in front of my apartment and I dashed inside, running up that stairs and into my room as I changed into my work clothes and rushed back down the stairs. Okay, I have 10 minutes to get to the city bus and get to BK, check in, and start working. All right, I can do this. 9 minutes later I was jogging inside the back entrance of BK and checking in. I sighed in relief as I put on my headset and began taking the orders of the customers. Luckily, the weekday shift I had went by faster than the Sunday shift since there were more customers so 4 hours were hardly wasted.  
>Come 8 PM, I was walking outside of Burger King and towards the payphone that I always go to every other Monday night. It's laundry day and Craig always tags along. He says the washing machines soothe him. I dialed his familiar number and waited underneath the navy sky for him to pick up.<p>

"I'm on my way," was all he said and then he hung up. I grinned at the air and hung up the phone as I started running in the direction of my apartment to grab my laundry. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother calling him in the first place.

The wonderful smell of laundry detergent greeted me as I walked into the small Laundromat. Craig sat on top of one of the dryers as he uninterestedly picked at his fingernails. I walked towards the other side of the building with my trash-bag full of dirty clothes as I pulled out a few coins. I set down the clothes and put 3 quarters into the machine. I then loaded up the washer with my clothes and then realized that I needed to wash the clothes I was wearing now too. This was my only work uniform. I looked over at Craig and then around to the empty Laundromat.

"Do you think anyone else will come here?" I asked him and he looked up from his hand. Then he walked towards me and sat next to me.

"No, why?" he asked and I took one last looked around the building before taking off my white polo.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa there buddy! What are you doing?" I head Craig say. I threw my polo into the washer and then started taking off my pants.

"I forgot that I have to wash my work uniform too," I responded with and grabbed a pair of decently clean night pants and put them on. I don't have to wear a shirt; it's spring for fuck's sake. Craig sighed in relief and then leaned back on his palms. I pushed a few buttons to start up the machine, added some detergent and then looked over at Craig. His eyes were trained on the washing machine and his entire body looked peaceful and relaxed. I lay down against the bench and felt my body fall into a sleep-like state as I waited for the laundry to finish washing. The peacefulness of knowing Craig was right next to me, the scent of fresh laundry, and the sound of the clothes washing made me feel more relaxed than I've felt in quite some time. I might have even fallen asleep. I guess Craig's right about how soothing the Laundromat can be.


	3. Haven't Been Laid in a While, Man

**Chapter 3: Haven't been laid in a while, man.**

I absently picked at a pimple on my chin as I looked blankly down at my desk. I looked drowsily over at the opposite end of the room where I watched Tweek pull at his hair and start scrambling around taking notes. I guess he's sober today. I sat staring ahead of me at the white board for hours, listening to the bland teacher drone on and on about something that's not going to help me in life. I fidgeted in my seat and moved my arms around to a more comfortable position. My eyes closed in boredom as I finally succumbed to my desires and glanced behind me at the clock. It's only been five minutes? Oh my God I am going to die and rot in hell and ugh. I do not want to be here. I do NOT want to be here _at all. _I laid my head on my desk and attempted to fall asleep. There's no way that pushover of a teacher will give a quarter of a shit if I just doze off right here. I relaxed into my arms and repeated one sentence in my head over and over like a mantra: This is the last hour of the day; I'm going home soon… this is the last hour of the day; I'm going home soon… this is the last hour of the day; I'm going home soon. I finally found myself in a dream-like state as I breathed heavily through my nose. This is the last hour of the day; I'm going home soon. The next thing I knew the last bell was ringing and I hopped out of my seat, walking towards Tweek with a grin on my face.

"Hey Tweek, mind if I copy your notes?" I asked sweetly, my "suck up-smile" present on my face as I batted my eyes angelically. Tweek just twitched and nodded his head.

"S-sure, mind if I come to your house and you can copy it there?" he asked and I just nodded.

"Yep! Let's go, then!" I said and Tweek looked at me confusedly.

"Do you mean yep as in 'yep I do mind so no to coming to my house' or do you mean 'yep I don't mind, come right on over' or what because what you just said has many different connotations so I rightfully have a reason to be confused right now-"

"Tweek, let's just go to my place so I can copy your notes, alright?" I said and Tweek just nodded. I swear to God this kid is like a completely different person when he's not high… not that I like him any less when he's sober. We walked out to the bus ramp and got inside. I sat next to him and he started shooting questions to me about why I didn't have the notes to begin with.

"Wait, you were just in that class! Why don't you have the notes, you were right there! Jesus was that just a hologram of you and you were skipping or were you like having sex in the back of the classroom- oh wait no I would've heard that never mind… seriously, why don't you have the notes?" I just shrugged and he growled in annoyance.

"Dude, I was just sleeping. I don't know how you stay awake in that class at all," I responded back and he replied with a simple 'oh'. The rest of the bus ride was filled with near silence except for a couple random sentences that Tweek says that are completely random but at the same time intriguing in a weird way. The bus pulled at my stop and me and Tweek walked out, onto the block away from my apartment. Tweek ran a hand through his hair shakily.

"You have some joints here, right?" he asked me and I looked over at him.

"Don't you usually have some with you?" I asked and he sighed.

"Dude I'm not a fucking retard. I would get suspended if they caught me with drugs on campus. So do you have any?" He looked over at me exasperatedly.

"Yeah, of course man." We walked into the already opened front door of the apartment building and then up the stairs. I pulled out the key out of my pocket and unlocked the front door. There's no way I'm keeping this shit unlocked, my entire place would get stolen and pawned in three seconds flat without me there to guard my own shit. We walked in and I closed the door, not bothering to lock it back up. I walked around to the birdfeeder hanging outside my window and pulled out a joint from around the baggies full of straight up marijuana. I walked back to Tweek and handed it to him. He pulled out a lighter and lit it up, his body becoming slightly calmer before he even took a drag. He then handed me a binder and I started to copy down his messily done notes.

About 10 minutes later the door opened to none other than Craig Tucker and his normalcy. He sat next to Tweek and made him pass what must've been Tweek's second joint to him. I finished copying Tweek's notes and then passed his binder back to him. He stared at it for a second before putting it next to his school bag. I leaned back on the balls of my wrists as I watched Craig and Tweek pass the joint around a couple of times. When they finished it up, the room was slightly hazy and reeked intensely of weed.

"Alright, now then. You guys want to go do something?" I asked and Craig just looked away and Tweek smiled airily.

"Nope," Tweek said and leaned back. He lay against the floor and then closed his eyes. I looked over at Craig and then laughed a little. Craig just rolled his eyes.

"Well, do you want to do something?" I asked him and he just shrugged.

"It feels really nice outside; we can just lay around at the park or something I don't know," he responded and I stood up. Craig leaned over and shook Tweek's shoulder.

"Can I just stay here? I'm tired," Tweek said and I looked over at Craig.

"Yeah whatever," Craig said. I said goodbye to Tweek and then Craig and I left for the park. Craig approached his car and then unlocked the doors.

"Dude, what are you doing?" I asked him and he looked over at me weirdly.

"What do you mean? We're taking the car, aren't we?" he responded and then backed away from the driver's door.

"Wouldn't that take away from the natural experience? We're about to walk through natures best and you want to pollute it? Craig you monster," I said sarcastically and Craig just sighed before walking next to me.

"Well, it is a nice day anyway. Might as well," Craig said and we started walking to the park that was about 5 minutes walking distance away. I skipped cheerily ahead of Craig and swung my arms around. I might've hit Craig a few times but I'm pretty sure he didn't notice. Craig decided to join me and started skipping alongside me as we merrily made out way to the park. I looked over at him and we started laughing at each other.

"Dude you're not even high, what are we doing?" he asked me and I just shrugged. I looked up at the bright sun and started smiling. Today has been a good day. I ate a nice breakfast and now I'm enjoying nature. How wonderful. We entered the park a few minutes later and lay on the grass under the shade of a big tree. Luckily not many people were at the park other than a few joggers who didn't really care much about just a couple of kids. I looked over at Craig and watched him as he picked at his fingernails. I looked away slowly and then looked up at the sky. I moved a hand to block out the blinding rays of the sun. Eventually my arm got tired and I moved it down to cover both of my eyes. I rolled towards Craig and I lay on my stomach with my chin in my hands. He turned towards me on his side.

I smiled at him with my yellow teeth and then winked cheekily. He then jokingly moved his arm down his side and cupped his thigh suggestively. I laughed and then rolled back onto my back. I feel high right now. Does second-hand inhaling dope smoke make you high? Yeah I think so. I looked over at Craig.

"So how's life?" I asked him and he stared blankly at the sky. He didn't look away but he answered me anyway.

"Pretty good, man. Pretty good," he responded and I smiled.

"Same here." I closed my eyes and the content smile stayed on my face. I vaguely felt his eyes look at me but I didn't move or make any signs that I knew of his gaze. I heard a little chuckle and then heard him shift next to me. I opened my eyes and stared at the whiteness of the sun until my eyes started aching. Life is indeed pretty damn good.

Craig and I went back to my place after about an hour of scattered conversation later. We were met with Tweek crashed on the couch still and an otherwise completely normal apartment. Craig lifted up Tweek's legs and sat down. He then moved Tweek's legs back down onto his lap. I chuckled at him and did the same with Tweek's head and sat on the other side of him. Tweek still didn't wake up. Craig and I started chatting about school among other things and finally Tweek began waking up. He made a yawning noise before his face began successfully cuddling right against my crotch. I made an over-exaggerated moan at him and then Tweek opened an eye before screaming bloody murder and falling off the couch. Craig started laughing.

"Dude you woke him up," Craig said before looking over at me in mock anger. I chuckled.

"Sorry man," I said and Tweek started scrubbing at his face with his hands. When he was finished he fell back onto the hard wood floor and sighed.

"How long ago did you guys get back?" he asked and I shrugged.

"I'd say about 10 minutes ago," Craig said and I nodded in agreement. Tweek groaned louder.

"You could've just woke me up," Tweek mumbled and I smiled at him.  
>"We could've, you're right," I agreed and looked at Craig.<p>

"But what's the fun in that?" Craig asked and I grinned. Tweek sat up and looked at both of us.

"You two are too alike," he said and I raised my eyebrows at him. Craig shrugged.

"We _are_ friends you know," Craig said and Tweek just looked down. He made a thoughtful face and then looked back up at us.

"I wanna get HIGH," Tweek said exasperatedly and I just looked at him.

"Okay. Let's grab a couple joints and get this party started!" I agreed completely and without thought as I went to grab a handful of joints and roll a few more. Tweek grinned at Craig and I before standing up to help me out. He began humming a little tune as we all sat on the floor and passed around a joint. Tweek was rolling up more for next time as Craig and I were fogging up the apartment with smoke. After about 10 minutes the apartment was already hazy and I was suddenly more happy then usual. Craig grinned at me stupidly and I busted out laughing. Tweek joined me and I looked over at Craig to see that he was laughing with us. Tweek then yawned and fell backwards and I crawled over to him to see what he was doing.

"Tweek, buddy, what're ya' doin'?" I asked him and he grunted.

"Sleep now," he said and then was suddenly breathing really heavy. I scrunched up my eyebrows at him and then started giggling.

"Dude, Craig, he's like a lightweight, except with weed, and not a lightweight because that doesn't happen with weed," I said and Craig started laughing.

"Fuck Ken, that was the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say," he told me and I almost frowned before I realized he was still laughing at it. I smiled and the leaned against his shoulder. I grabbed the joint out of his hand and took a long drag before looking him in the eyes.

"You're laughing though so I win," I said and then gave him back the joint. He took a drag himself and then he looked at me with a bored expression.

"Fuck it I am so horny right now," he said and then moved a hand to rub at his crotch. I chuckled and moved my hand to rest on his knee.

"When was the last time you got laid, Craiiiig Tuckeerrrr?" I asked him and then looked at his eyes. He sighed and the hand got faster on his crotch.

"A year," he said and I smiled at him before licking my lips. Since when has Craig looked so yummy looking? This must be the weed talking.

"I can help you fix your… little problem Craig. And I'll even do it for free," I added and smiled at him. His hand froze and he looked over at me, his cheeks rosy pink and eyes wide. I swear the air got thicker then, and hotter too. Suddenly the good-natured air from just wanting to get high changed into a more serious mood that was kind of sexy almost. Craig leaned forward and whispered into my ear.

"And how are you going to do that?" he asked me and I smiled.

"I can make your dick feel _real good,_" I said and the leaned against Craig more. "I'll let you fuck my _tight little_ _ass_ for as long as you want," I said it as a whisper but I know he heard it. I watched a shiver go up his spine and I almost started chuckling. The hand on his crotch picked up speed as he looked at me with half-lidded eyes.

"Let's get to it, then," he said and then he stood up, grabbing my arm in the process and dragging me to my bedroom with him. I smiled to myself as I watched him lay down on the bed. My arms criss-crossed against my stomach as I took my shirt off and threw it behind me. I crawled on top of Craig and kissed his lips. I felt his hips rub against my thighs and inwardly smiled. Tonight is definitely going to be a fun night.


	4. Sleeping Beauty Likes Pot

_(Happy New Year's y'all! I've been in a poetry mood for a few weeks now so um. Sorry. This is in Craig's POV and um. The next chapter will be normal I promise!)_

**Chapter Four: Sleeping Beauty Likes Pot**

Heavy hearted

His eyes weighed down with 10 pound grey weights that sank below his smoky crystals

Rusted black hair fell into his eyes

Crooked smiles shown only in timed intervals between days

Languid posture

Dirty clothes, mostly black actually

He spent his days smoking dope with his friends

Fun times after rough days

Happy evenings

Not a care spent

Not a care purchased

A day comes around when all lust is used

An evening with a friend spent so strangely

Don't tell me he fucked him

I'm pretty sure he fucked him

God dammit

He awoke to his baby blue eyes

Even though they were shut he knew they would stare him down come morning

Never before did he ever imagine having sex with him

He's pretty sure that he was straight

At least he thought he was

At least he thought _Kenny_ was

Strangely enough he doesn't really care that much about the previous evening

Hey it happened

Nothing he can do about it now

But what about that blonde haired boy laying next to him?

What does the blue-eyed beauty think of his previous lay?

Is he disgusted by the moves of the noirette?

A sigh and a flop and the said noirette lays down against the pillows

Later

Oh, later he'll let that sleeping beauty react anyway he mother fucking wants to.

The dark haired monster grinned to himself as he let the blondie 'wake up before him'

Two confused human beings lay in a bed in a run-down apartment

One with greasy black hair

The other with stringy blonde

Before there was only comfort in their meetings and their speech

Casual conversations spent over ridiculous amounts of drugs

Sometimes alcohol

They were the best of friends

Of course they'd never admit that

Now the pair is only expecting awkwardness

Hopefully everything will be okay

But will it really?


	5. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Okay guys! I'm extremely sorry that I haven't left a note or anything to excuse the 8-month writer's pause I've been in but I've been extremely busy. The last few months of the school year were crammed with work on more work not to mention being extraordinarily distracted with SPBB (spbigbang on LJ or ) and by summer time I wasn't even in the South Park fanbase anymore.

So, once again, I'm really sorry for anyone that was sincerely keeping track on this fic. It will not be finished, as I am not active enough in the South Park fanbase anymore. I will be participating in SPRMB (spbigbang on LJ) however, and I may pop back in the fandom briefly if I'm inspired enough.

I would finish this but aside from not being in the SP fanbase I don't really like where I was leading the story to begin with. I'm not inspired by it anymore.

So, for the last and final time, I'm terribly sorry about all this. I didn't mean for the story to be led away so much. Please, go enjoy other works of fiction in the fandom! I'm sure there are others you would enjoy just as much :)


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